None of it’s true, but I can’t make her see that. I can’t make her heal faster. I can only help, remind her of her worth, remind her I care for her, remind her that it will be ok, and, sometimes, hold her while she does the exact opposite. Hold her while she beats herself up. Hold her while she tells herself she is broken. Hold her while she reverts back to that 14-year-old girl on the bus who froze while her boyfriend molested her. So here we are. She is shaking and bawling uncontrollably and I am holding her as tight as I can so she can feel safe as she does. It’s killing me, but she needs this. I hate him. I hate what he did to her. He probably doesn’t even know. As she calms down I loosen my grip. She turns around and squeezes me close. I let out a deep breath as the tears slowly trickle onto my shirt. This hell is coming to an end. I will never let her know how taxing this is for me, even though she does. She’s not stupid. But me not expressing it shows her that it doesn’t. With a smile, he told me to strip and get into bed.“Are you sure?” I asked.“Yes, you can’t sleep on the front seats, they’re fucking uncomfortable!” he replied. Both wearing underpants we were soon in bed. His underpants were even more soiled than his dirty T-shirt, and the bedding had a very well used odour.Facing me, with his head propped up on his arm he asked, “Are we going to do this the easy or hard way?” Observing my puzzled expression Guthrie continued, “Dinner was great, but I only consider that a deposit... now I want payment in full.”“Sorry?” I asked.“With a pretty boy like you in my bed, well, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do,” he replied.“But, I’m not gay,” I answered, lying to him. Guthrie wasn’t generally my type.“Mmmm, neither am I. But a fuck’s a fuck, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do right now.” I was about to jump up when his massive hand pinned me down. “Listen, boy, if you want to do this the hard way, I’m all in. You’re going to get fucked… and.
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